For the past several years I have adopted a word or phrase for the year. It’s a new year’s resolution kind of activity that gives me a focus. Last year it was Διώκω (press on), taken from Philippians 3:12-14, and helped me to remember that I am not a finished product, but I can and should keep on, keepin’ on.
As I started thinking about my theme for this year, I was reminded of a book I recently read called Wonder. It has also been made into a movie, although I felt like the book was better. The fictional story features an eleven-year-old boy who has a facial deformity as he winds his way through his first year of public school.
Early in the story the author has a teacher quote a precept for his class from Dr. Wayne W. Dyer, “When given the choice between being right or being kind, choose kind.” The book and “choose kind” have become a sort of movement all of their own. I, too, am struck by the prospect of choosing kind as my motto for this year.
Biblically, there are many verses which speak of being kind. I find myself gravitating to Ephesians 4:32:
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
According to this verse, there are three behaviors I should exhibit: be kind, be compassionate, be forgiving. Those are tall orders for many, especially for someone like me. One of the commentaries I read pointed out though that the “be” the apostle Paul uses here is really “become,” and the point he is making is that we are to become a person who shows a “sweet and generous disposition.” We’re not there yet, but we’re supposed to keep working on becoming kind.
That brings me back to Dyer’s quote:
“When given the choice between being right or being kind, choose kind.”
What I am wondering is, as a follower of Christ is there ever really a choice between being right or being kind? According to Paul, our aspirations are to be kind, compassionate, and forgiving. Being right is never even on the radar.
Yet all too often that choice is in my face: when the garbage man didn’t pick up the garbage for the third week in a row or when the salesman on the phone won’t give me the price without me giving him all kinds of personal information. Am I handling those kinds of situations with kindness, compassion, and forgiveness, or am I just standing on my rightness? Could the people on the other end of the phone line recognize me as a follower of Christ by my words and actions?
Don’t get me wrong. I still don’t believe I should say it’s o.k. for the garbage man to skip my dad’s house or that I should give out that information to the salesman. Where my rub comes in is with how I handled it and whether I considered their side of the situation before I phrased my comments. What my hope, my prayer is that I choose to be kind whether I am right or wrong.
Always, first, choose to be kind.
So, here’s to an Ephesians 4:32 year! I think I may paraphrase Dr. Dyer’s quote and make it this:
When given the choice between being right or being kind,
choose kind…..and compassionate…..and forgiving.